That Floating Excrement Was Way Too Meaningful! These Are the Television Letdowns of the Year.

Looking back, we reflect on the TV offerings of the recent year, a selection of series emerge not for their brilliance, but for their notable failures. Ranging from cringe-inducing sequels to bafflingly poor documentaries, here are the programmes that left us scratching our heads or just reaching for the remote.

And Just Like That

How to start with this divisive spin-off? Plagued with dreadful writing, painful character development (we demand better for Miranda!), and a mere 71 seconds of fan-favourite Samantha, the series fought to justify its existence. For a moment, as the third season started, it seemed as if it had at last hit its stride. Then came an episode all about Seema’s natural deodorant. Little surprise the showrunner declared this would be the final season. It ended on a low point; the closeup of Miranda’s loo full of poo was simply too symbolic. Yet, viewers undeniably had a hoot dissecting every single “what on earth?” episode. And as Carrie – a single woman once more – danced around her palatial townhouse to Barry White, who couldn't release a small sob?

All’s Fair

‘Is Kim Kardashian an actress? The answer is a resounding no.’

But that was almost the smallest of this show's problems. The recipient of a exceedingly uncommon zero star review, it was difficult to know where to start enumerating the problems. The laughably wooden dialogue? The mind-numbing glorification of wealth and consumption? The seemingly wilful parade of cliches? Performances so bad they felt borderline malicious? Let’s just say “each and every one” and never speak of this show again. Except, a second season has been ordered, so we’re likely going to have to.

AKA Charlie Sheen

Given the legal troubles, abuse allegations and fatherly shortcomings, it’s fair to say Charlie Sheen has been a troubled figure. Not that you’d really have gleaned it from this three-part documentary which smirked its way at Sheen’s various episodes of reckless hedonism while failing to tell us a single thing we didn’t already know. Rather, it felt as if this volatile personality was being pandered to, so any pity this series might induce should be saved for the people who have had to suffer proximity with this charismatic but dismissive egotist.

The Iris Affair

Of course we knew it was preposterous from the get-go: a thriller about a supercomputer known as Charlie Big Potatoes that could either solve global crises – or destroy all of humanity. We stuck with it out of sheer admiration for its leads … but by the end, it felt like even they had given up trying. One barely cared when his character died, and the other ultimately slicing Charlie with an axe … in painfully slow-motion. That's what you call giving up the ghost.

MobLand

Shady figures meeting in empty boxing gyms? A certain band's Firestarter jackhammering away in club scenes? The late 90s called and wants its gangland drama back.

In truth, that is unfair on the crime shows of the late 90s. Many seem a little dated now, but at least they didn’t suffer the ignominy of having to indulge baffling dialects. But there were plenty of other problems. Primarily that it was just profoundly boring; a dispute over narcotics territory between various cockney rogues which seemed rather simplistic.

The Meghan Markle Series

Given the degree to which she provokes the ire of certain ostentatiously angry commentators, it’s almost easy to admire the Duchess of Sussex’s various ventures into twee homemaking as deliberate provocations. But then you watch them and are compelled to concede that actually, they may have a point. It’s like watching a lifestyle magazine come to life; a poster for evening drinks with ideas of grandeur; a procession of snoozing dogs, buzzing beehives, sentimental platitudes and pointless crafting “hacks” you’ll forget instantly. All supported by vast, mostly unearned wealth. Ugh.

The Beckham Documentary

There are obviously fascinating things to be said about both Victoria Beckham and her journey with career, self-image, self-worth. But for whatever reason, this three-part series opted not to explore them. Instead, the experience was akin to consuming a marketing catalogue. She obviously has good reason to bridle at what she describes as her “miserable cow” image. But sadly, she failed to do herself any favours with this cagey non-event of a series.

The Inheritance

It should have been the next cultural phenomenon – except even camper, with a glamorous star as a deceased benefactor and a sharp-tongued personality managing her inheritance. What more could you want? As players competed, there was plenty of backstabbing and arguing. But the rules quickly became incomprehensible: it’s still too confusing to explain what precisely was happening. Even more regrettably, we only saw brief appearances of the star via prerecorded videos. The series ended up reeking of a programme that was straining desperately to live up to something way beyond it.

Too Much

How do you succeed a show that defined a generation? The pressure was immense for this starry romantic comedy about Jessica, a hopeful New Yorker who arrives in London with a broken heart. The lead actress seized the opportunity by the horns and was a delight to watch, embodying Jane Austen levels of romantic ideals. But it was all very slick and, paradoxically, was insufficient. Plus, the sheer amount of famous cameos involved felt uncomfortable.

Mitchell & Webb Are Not Helping

Not good enough to be ‘uneven’.

Given the smart inclusion of gifted emerging comics, expectations were high. But sadly, most of it didn’t land. A recurring sketch was a single joke stretched to a husk but recurring in every episode. One star seemed too willing to slip into a well-known irate mode. The behind-the-scenes sketches, in contrast, simply provoked the idea that they should probably have stayed in there a while longer.

The Knox Dramatisation

This dramatisation of the story of Amanda Knox was overseen by Amanda Knox and pretty much solely presented the perspective of Amanda Knox. So, while there undoubtedly is an compelling drama to be made about the horrific 2007 murder, this was not it. The subject matter needed to be treated with care. Instead, the series laboured awkwardly to find the right voice, lumbering from oddly breezy, somewhat stylised farce to ultimately, real-life horror. Complex? Arguably. A complete mess? Absolutely.

The Maths Genius Thriller

We love the lead actor … but did we buy him playing the greatest maths genius since, a man so smart he’s on the verge of a discovery that could destabilise society? No! This international thriller about secret services targeting – and eliminating – intellectuals frankly got more absurd by the second. Formulaic nonsense.

The Bonnie Blue Documentary

This hagiography followed the online personality notorious for explicit exploits as she prepared for her biggest challenge yet. What on earth would possess her? What we craved was far greater examination of her actual psychology, plus those of the men in the line. They could at least have spoken to the legendary mum who appeared to drag her son away from the queue. What we got was disturbing imagery and zero critical analysis of her infamy whatsoever. It's staggering to consider, the documentary-maker has a teenage daughter too.